N.R.E.

I knew instantly. It was about 3:30 AM when I got up and I had this really sour taste in my mouth. I was insatiably thirsty, and I felt lethargic and jittery. I knew my blood sugar was really high, and I hadn't felt this terrible in quite some time. A quick test revealed a 434 (yikes!), so I took my insulin and was going to wait it out.

I started racking my mind, trying to account for this reading. Did I miscount my food intake, forget to take some insulin, was I stressed before bed? No, No, and no. I did have a low blood sugar at about 7:30 PM, but was 125 before bed. No rational explanation.

And there you have it.

No Rational Explanation - herein referred to as "N.R.E.!"

It's so disappointing. Really, I'd feel so much better if I could write it off as, I forgot to Bolus for that King Sized Peanut Butter Twix Bar! But that's not the case.

The fact is, it could be one of 100 small contributing factors that I may be totally unaware of. Sometimes our bodies fight off sickness (while we may not necessarily be feeling 'flu-like') and the increased internal stress makes theh blood rise. Maybe there was an air bubble I missed in the pump resevoir that inhibited (but did not hinder entirely) the proper flow and distribution of insulin. Doubtful, but possible. I DID have an unexplained 247 earlier today, so maybe...

But then again, maybe not!

In some starnge way, being on the pump has ALMOST made me feel like I don't have diabetes any more. Almost? Compared to my prior regimen, coupled with my previous averages, it's hard to call this 'diabetes management' if that is what I was doing before the pump.

But I did say, 'almost,' because my blood sugar still rises and falls - quickly, I still have to count every single gram of carbohydrate I consume, and there are still the daily multiple blood sugar tests.

And in another strange way it's disappointing to have these VERY INFREQUENT spells of "n.r.e." highs, because sometimes I subconsciously believe EVERY single blood sugar will be perfect. It's a great expectation, but one that is sure to disappoint.

This insulin pump is awesome. The best thing to ever happen to me and my health - ever! But it is NOT a pancreas that automatically distributes the right amounts of insulin intuitively; and this forray in the 400's is a harsh reminder of that.

Having, managing, and controlling diabetes is a daily adventure. The pump gives the diabetic a distinct advantage over their blood sugars and overall health.

But until we are all cured, there will be days (and nights) like these.

And it's not that it's acceptable; this is a horrible feeling. It's just that sometimes it is fruitless to attempt to reason ecerything when the simple fact is, sometmes it's no more complicated than:

"N.R.E!"

Through it all, I'll be pumpin...