This is a picture of the grand canyon from afar.
Here is a picture from the grand canyon on the ledge.
Here is picture of the grand canyon from inside.
Notice how all three photos offer differing views and alternate perspectives. Additionally, from a distance the canyon does not appear all that impressive. But as you get closer to the ledge, and ultimately inside the behemoth, you gain a new appreciation for its formidable essence. And if you've ever been there, you know pictures don't do it justice.
To me life with diabetes is just like that.
In the past I thought of tight control and healthy management as unattainable. I heard, read, and acknowledged all the possible complications, yet to me the complications were like the canyon from afar.
20 years in to diabetes, and still complication free I could feel myself getting much 'closer,' yet still was denying the enormity of my future if I did not change course, and fast.
Finally a series of life-events combined and I was standing on the ledge. One of which was a slight foot tingle, and I feared that denying the 'canyon' any longer was just not possible.
So 22 years in to diabetes I took a figurative leap of faith over the edge, and much to my surprise I did not go plummeting downward at break-neck speed.
The most amazing thing happened, actually.
For the past 7+ months it's as if I have been carried up on eagle's wings. The insulin pump has opened up a whole new world for me.
The least way I have been affected by the insulin pump is by having normal blood sugars. That's right, the normal readings are the least of my gains. My focus, my energy level, my patience level, my everything...better!
Being on the pump does not mean the years of mismanagement have not affected me adversely, or that it may not in the future.
But for the first time in my life I am now walking away from the ledge rather than toward it, and I feel GREAT in the process!
Until next time, I'll keep pumpin'....